Those two Executives
by fusionbolt15
Summary: Anyone that didn't know Proton and Petrel that well would think they took their job very seriously. Ariana found out wrong... Not Yaoi but Proton/Petrel bromance (ish). Just a silly little thing that I might add to in future. Rating for drug references and swearing, just incase.


**Author's note: So, hey! This is one of my first attempts at a Proton and Petrel fic. It's really stupid and I know there's WAY too much dialogue, but I was bored and very cold at the time of writing this . **

**I've read some other fanfiction about these two and I really like how everyone portrays their characters, and I hope that by writing this I can practice my own skills at writing for the future, both with these two and with my original stories. **

**Welp, I hope you enjoy this! If this goes well and gets good reviews, I will consider adding more chapters to it :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING TO DO WITH POKEMON AT ALL. OR FAMILY GUY (you might recognise the reference to it). Pokemon belongs to GameFreak and Family Guy to Seth Macfarlane.**

* * *

There was a sharp knock at the door to Proton's room. The red-head Executive of Team Rocket, Ariana, tapped her foot as she began to grow impatient at the fact that there was no answer. Hearing mumbling coming from the room inside, she decided it would be best to go and see for herself why Proton wasn't bothering to get up.

Opening the door and storming inside, she began to speak out loud to him. "Honestly Proton, are you really that lazy that you can't-"

She stopped in her tracks, frowning upon the sight that lay before her. There was Petrel, laying on his stomach flopped over the back of the sofa looking half-asleep, and Proton was on his back sprawled across the floor looking as equally as zoned out. Ariana's best guess was that the two had had one of their wild parties with the grunts, as the next day would be Petrel's birthday.

"Arrriiiii..." Petrel groaned, just about managing to open his eyes, as he had a rather painful nights sleep the night before. "Sup with you?".

"'What's up' is that you two haven't bothered to get up for work and are instead laying half-drunken still at 11 o'clock in the morning!" Ariana complained.

"Sorry, that was my bad" Proton said as he struggled to sit up. "Petrel and I had a little too much to drink last night..."

Ariana's eyes widened in mock surprise. "Really?" she asked sarcastically. "I didn't seem to notice!" Proton and Petrel both managed to stand as Ariana walked fully into the room. Suddenly, her sarcastic tone turned into a rather fierce one. "You two do realise you have piles of paperwork to do today, don't you?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"Umm..." Petrel began, rubbing his eyes. "Maybe?"

Ariana shot him a glare before looking around the room that was sprawled with various bottles and knocked-over furniture. "Yes, you do. What in the name of Arceus have you two done to this place?! It's an absolute tip!"

"Yeaaah, about that..." Petrel grinned awkwardly whilst scratching the back of his head. "You see, it kinda started out when us and the grunts were playin' truth or dare, then someone let their Rattata loose and all of us were trying to get our other Pokémon to catch it, which didn't really do much good for the poor room...we got it in the end but most of us were too out of it to even think about tidyin' the place up...sooo...I guess that's our excuse?" he looked at Ariana hopefully.

Ariana just stood there with a blank, unamused expression on her face. "Why do I even bother asking..." she sighed, before noticing a small, suspicious- looking rectangular tin on the floor a few feet away. "What is that?"

"Oh that?" Petrel replied casually. "That's...um...well..."

"You did drugs didn't you."

"NO!"

Ariana gave him yet another one of her vicious looks.

"Okay, we did...ya see, after everyone had left I realised I had some spare weed lying around-"

"As you do." she interrupted.

"- and so naturally I thought hey, why not feed it to my Koffin'? So I did that and then suddenly they blew pot fumes EVERYWHERE", he made a large gesture with his hands, "and me and Pro got totally high and actually had a very deep conversation about our past lives and stuff. It was pretty rad if you ask me." He then smirked and pointed with his thumb over at Proton who was standing next to him. "Mister 'cruellest and scariest' over here cried after about 10 minutes in."

"I did not!" Proton protested, shooting a look at Petrel before receiving a raised eyebrow from the purple-haired man in return. "...much." he huffed and crossed his arms turning away from him.

Ariana just looked between the two of them. "You two really do act like a couple of kids sometimes. If you two keep getting high like this, your work performance will start slipping and then where would we be? You're both lucky that I might decide not to tell Archer about this."

"Oh Arceus please don't tell Archer!" Petrel pleaded. "We're already in enough trouble as it is!"

"Well, if you tidy up this mess and get some work done, then maybe I won't." she put her hands on her hips and shifted her weight to one leg. "And please take a shower, you two smell dreadful. It _smells_ like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards let alone look like it!"

"That would be the weed." Petrel informed her with a raised finger.

"Well whatever it is, get rid of it. The grunts won't want to go near you two otherwise."

"Well if Proton flaunts his ass enough, they would."

"HEY." Proton narrowed his eyes at him. "DON'T."

Ariana turned her back to them both before walking towards the door. "I'm sure they would." she said nonchalantly. "I'll see you both in an hour; my office." she said before leaving and shutting the door.

Both executives stood there awkwardly for a moment before Petrel piped up again. "Damn. That means I won't have enough time to work on my disguises!"

"Oh forget about your stupid disguises would you?" Proton moaned at him before realising something and touching his head. "Hey Petrel, where's my hat?"

"Aw, shit dude I- I dunno man. You must have left it somewhere during the party last night."

"Well I know I left it _somewhere_, but where?!" he added, searching around the room frantically for said hat.

Petrel smirked at him. "You're attached to that thing ain't ya?"

Proton continued scouring the room, tipping up the sofa in case it had somehow miraculously moved itself under there. "I found it before I joined Team Rocket as a kid, of course I'm attached to it!"

"What's the big deal, it's just a hat!" Petrel asked casually.

Proton shouted at him. "It's not just a hat! It means a lot to me okay?!"

"Okay okay, geez, it's cool." Petrel raised his hands up in defense. "Want me to help ya look for it?"

"No, I want you to just stand there and mock me." he replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Petrel walked forward towards him. "You're a sassy bitch." he joked.

"No, that's Ariana." the teal-haired executive corrected before moving to put a small coffee table back in place.

"You're as bad as each other."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means..." Petrel stroked his goatee and grinned. "You're a sassy bitch."

Proton's lips formed into a line. "Shut up." Petrel snickered as he watched Proton make his way to the bathroom. "I'm gonna take a shower."

"Okay" his friend replied, picking up a newspaper he found lying on the floor before looking at the front of it. "Huh...that's odd. I thought that would be big news."

"You thought what would be big news?"

Petrel paused for a moment. "Well, there seems to be an absence of a certain ornithological piece. A headline regarding mass awareness of a certain avian variety."

"What are you talking about?"

Petrel raised his eyebrows. "Oh have you not heard? It was my understanding that everyone had heard."

"Heard what?"

It was then that Petrel suddenly dropped the newspaper and began performing the most ridiculous song and dance known to man. "A WELL A BIRD BIRD BIRD, B- BIRD'S THE WORD A WELL A BIRD BIRD BIRD, B-BIRD'S THE WORD-"

He continued in this fashion for a few moments; Proton just standing there with his mouth agape, watching in utter horror and confusion as his best friend had led him into the trap of the Surfin' Bird song.

"A WELL-A BIRD BIRD BIRD, B-BIRD'S THE WORD HEY PROTON DON'T YOU KNOW, ABOUT THE BIRD, WELL PETREL'S GONNA TELL YOU ABOUT THE BIRD! A WELL A BIRD BIRD, B-BIRD'S THE WORD A WELL A BIRD-" Petrel then suddenly jumped back and made a circular 'surfing' motion with his body- "SUUUUURRRRFFFIINNNNN" he sang, before suddenly falling on the floor and making random sounds and movements that expressed no meaning whatsoever. Proton thought he was having a seizure and panicked. The man then took in a large breath and collapsed completely, his limbs strewn out across the floor. Proton rushed over to him and bent down to his level. "Oh my God Petrel, are you okay?!" he worried. Then to even more horror, Petrel jumped up and began the whole thing all over again. Proton frowned and facepalmed before turning around and walking into the bathroom, slamming the door shut. Petrel stopped and shouted "RUDE!" before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up, collapsing into a chair as he did so. He only hoped he wouldn't set off the smoke alarm.


End file.
